Friday, January 18, 2013

Help !

In the past 8 years I have read almost every single book there is to read on healing from an abusive relationship and I have searched as much as possible on the internet to understand why anyone would want to abuse another person, even though I have been guilty myself.

The guilt I have for the way I treated my children at times kills me. I know from first hand experience that when we are trapped in abusive relationships we are so busy trying to survive ourselves that our children are often on the receiving end of our neglect or our inability to protect them against witnessing the abuse. There are even times when we may abuse our children as well. Please don't get me wrong I am not a violent person at all but during the 25 years of my own abuse there were times when I took it out on my children. I consider myself to be EXTREMELY patient and it takes a lot for me to lose control... but there were times when I did lose it and looking back I am so sorry for some of the things that happened. My children have forgiven me, they knew what I was going through and they have also apologised for pushing my buttons when I was going through so much at the time. They didn't need to ask for forgiveness... we were all victims.

Thank goodness I have educated myself and done everything possible to understand the relationship between he abuser and his or her victim which is why I try to share as much information as I can with people who go to my website and those of you who come to my blog.

For some more info please click on this link.

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Narcissism Revisited

Dr Sam Vaknin wrote the forward in my book and had I not discovered his book Malignant Self Love 8 years ago I would never have understood the two men in my life who were Narcissists. I have a link on my website to Dr Sam but I found this site today and I thought I would share it with you. There are several very interesting videos with Dr Sam himself as well as other Psychologists who understand this condition. You can find the video's here. I would suggest that you take the time to watch them they are very informative.

So often holidays and special occassions like Birthdays are completely ruined by the Narcissist watch the video by Dr Sam, he explains whay they do this.