Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Nightmares !

Something really weird happened recently, I had a nightmare about my ex husband. Thank goodness they are no where near as bad as they used to be. I seldom have nightmares anymore and even this one wasn't terrifying. I was able to turn over and just go back to sleep, but what was interesting about the dream was that he was getting married and had invited my daughters and me to the celebration ! Can't for the life of me think why I would have accepted, but we were a part of the whole event.

There were a lot of people, more than most weddings and it was a huge spectacular event, now why should that surprise anyone. But what was interesting to me was the way he went out of his way to come over to me and my family to say hello. I know his face so well, his eyes and his smile and I know when his eyes are full of hatred and his smile is sarcastic and sinister.

Why was it a nightmare? Because the look on his face was directed straight at me, the look of...'do you see what I have, all this money, hundreds of friends, glitz and glamour, and you don't.
I was filled with panic and just wanted to leave but couldn't which is when I woke up. Even in my dream I found the 'over the top' wedding sickening.
It is important for me to mention that something that annoyed me throughout our marriage was the way he showed off about his wealth without any shame, to anyone and everyone.

Last week I met one of my daughters and she told me that she had a dream about my ex, that he got married and she was at the wedding. She experienced pretty much the same thing as I did. The wedding was huge and over the top. She said to me..."Mom do you remember his eyes when he was in an absolute rage... well that is how he was looking at me in the dream".

I find it so weird that we would both had such similar dreams in the same week.

I am of the opinion that nightmares can continue for many many years and little things can trigger them, BUT slowly in time the dreams are not so terrifying. In my experience I can now wake up, realize that I am dreaming, I am safe and I can turn over and go straight back to sleep. Blissful sleep.

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