As an adult in control of our emotional responses to conflict, it might be appropriate to respond with one of these reactions but when we are NOT OK, we often resort to what we THINK works for us and which can become our down fall.
As an artist I am a visual person so when this was explained to me in therapy, I immediately went out and bought 5 ducks and a Mama Duck. When I am confronted with highly stressful situations I am immediately aware of what my response used to be and am able to choose to respond differently.
I am not for one minute saying I have mastered this, but had I known this 20 years ago I think I could have saved myself a whole lot of extra heart ache.
Read the article by Pete Walker it will all make perfect sense.
PLEASE SEE THE LINK BELOW