Wednesday, October 26, 2011

My secret place

Part of dealing with life as a whole is to find time to be quiet. There is a beautiful scripture in the Bible that says.... Be still and know that I am God.
When life gets really tough and I need to escape, I take myself off to some very secret places which I have never shared with anyone ever, but I am willing to share with you. For a long time I found it really hard to go to my secret place without my ghosts coming with me and haunting me on the journey, invasive thoughts fear and terror. That doesn't happen anymore and last night I had a full nights sleep which hasn't happened in years.
My ritual was no different from the many times before, but this time I was very relaxed, exhausted and fell into a deep sleep after my bath.
I lit this candle that I always use when I meditate and it has lasted months. I had smaller ones all around my bath, some incense and some soft mediation music playing in the background. I rolled up a towel to place behind my head and closed my eyes counting down slowly from 10 and taking big deep breaths.
My journey starts with the first step... I find myself in the forest where there is a gentle stream with stepping stones which I follow step by step. Concentrating to relax and taking in all that is around me, it is so pretty. When I hear the noise of traffic, or a person comes to mind, I gently turn to put my hand up and stay 'stop', this is my secret place where only I can go.
I am not aware of time but I walk deeper and deeper into the forest. I can hear in the distance a waterfall and my heart quickens, I know where I am going, to one of my favourite places on earth.
Everything is so green, the air is fresh and all I can hear is the sounds of nature. I am not afraid and I am alone. This is my little spot where I remove my clothing and leave it folded on the rock. I don't try and hide my nakedness, no one has ever been here before and never will. From this point on I am completely naked and alone, momentarily I am anxious, but I take a deep breath and let it go. As I do so, thousands of butterflies appear from no where, my favourite colour of purple and turquoise.
I am overwhelmed with joy when I see them all around me. As I begin to continue on my journey there are so many beautiful things to see, touch, smell, and feel... I am happy.
I have transformed and beginning to feel that I am one with nature, but I remind myself of why I am here and I continue to climb even higher into the forest and the sound of water gets louder and louder. In the clearing just ahead.....
Stopping for just a while I need to listen to the music, and pray a while. I pray for my own healing and those of all the people I love, there are many.... my tears begin to flow with out thinking about anything or anyone I can't seem to help it. I know that each time I come here my tears are less and less.
One of my favourite places on earth and I have actually been here so this is very real for me. It is so hot and the water is cool not cold, I have no idea how long I stay here. Sitting in the pools and meditating on nothing in particular except the place where I am.
The sun begins to disappear and the waterfalls become silent in a strange way. Is it because I am completely at peace where there is no noise at all in my head.
This is where I stay when I am away from the world and all its troubles.  I have left nothing behind. The wine is in the fridge, my paints are on the patio waiting for me to settle in for a few days painting. The only people  I wish could be here with me are my children and my grandchildren, one day I will invite them.... but for now I am going to relax in a nice warm bath and slip between the sheets and fall into a deep sleep.... ZZZzzzzzz

I am busy renovating the bathroom area which I will show you when you come and walk with me next time. I shall not be here tomorrow when I awake.

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