How long will it take?
In the past 7 years I think that is the one question that I am asked over and over again.
How long will it take to get a restraining order.
How long will it take before the divorce is final.
How long did it take you to get over X person, or how long did you fel depressed, in pain etc.
How long will it take for me to meet the right person.
We all want to know how long things take. My example has always been, stitches are removed in 10 days, a bone takes 6 weeks to mend, a head ache can take 20mins with medication but a broken heart can take for ever.
Thoughts create feelings and feelings cause reactions and behaviour so we need to really understand what we are thinking. There is so much information on the internet about changing the way we think, but I am not going to talk about that here. One thing I have done for many many years is to keep a journal.
Think about it, our minds are filled with thoughts and who knows if what we are thinking is the truth? One way of checking to see if what you are thinking makes sense or even if it is the truth, is to keep a journal. So often when we write our thoughts down we are able to see things from a different perspective.
Try not to spend hours and hours of wasted time and energy talking to people who have no idea of what you have experienced and even if they do, they aren't qualified to tell you what decisions to make or how to feel. You are the best person for that job.
The point that I am making her is not to answer how long it will take for legal matters to be resolved, I have no idea, but when it comes to the question how long will it take to heal the past, my answer would be that is entirely up to you. Journaling is a wonderful way to get insight into your own mind and feelings which is why I always recommend journaling as part of your healing process.
For some more information on keeping a journal you can click on this link.
Write about the things you can remember about your childhood and your parents.
Write about your feelings and what people have done to you both good and bad.
Keep a record about your therapy sessions and the insight that you get from reading, progams you might watch on TV, things people might say, most important are the aha moments you have when you are writing.
Highlight all the positive things.
Write quotes on pieces of paper and put them on your fridge, bathroom mirror, next to your bed.
FOCUSING ON THE RESULT THAT YOU WANT AND NOT ON WHAT YOU DON'T WANT