Day Thirteen

One of my many passions is reading, though I am not fond of reading fiction. My fascination has always been for autobiographies, true stories of adventure and self help and healing books. I am quite sure I have read a good 90% of self help books, starting in my late teens with the book The Power of Positive Thinking, which has deep roots in my psyche.

As a troubled teenager my father paid for me to do a Dale Carnegie course which included How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, How to Win Friends and Influence People and a course in Public Speaking. He made a bargain with me, if I finished the course he would pay for it, if I didn't, I would have to pay him back... I finished the course and won two Public Speaking awards, which I was very proud of. Who could ever have known how many times in my life I would be called on to address an audience and eventually become a public speaker!

The How to Stop Worrying and start living principles have remained with me throughout my life. One thing I remember vividly is standing in front of an audience much older than myself with directors of companies. We were asked individually what we were worried about? Strange how nothing ever changes. Fear of not finding the right marriage partner, not having enough money, not being able to get out of debt, not being able to have children, not being able to find a job.
We all seem to worry about the same things. We were given strategies to overcome those fears and when all else fails I am reminded of that time in my life.

I have read all the books like, Why am I afraid to tell you who I am, Men are from Venus, Women are from Mars, Your Erogenous Zones, The Four Agreements, Love Addiction, Women who run with wolves, Co- Dependent no more, The Cinderella Complex, and and and.
I have listened to hundreds of Dr.Phil and Oprah programs. I have been on many workshops, Inner Healing, World Alive,  How to Love the Life you are Living, Family Constellations, Hypnotherapy, Psychologists and and and. I have enjoyed meditation and sound baths all this over a 40 year period. Of course there were benefits in all those books and workshops or I doubt I would be here today, BUT if there is one thing I know for sure.... as Oprah would say... Change begins and ends with ME.

For many years I was depressed about my parents divorce, my mothers drinking problems and emotional distance, my step fathers abuse, my troubled teenage years, my abusive husbands and my own fear and loneliness. But I had more power to manage my life and choices than I could ever have imagined.

My views may not be the same as yours, but I will share them anyway. I truly believe that life is just a journey of lessons I chose for myself. We all have a different path to walk, different dreams and expectations and within the framework of what we want in life so we will be presented with the challenges in order to succeed in what we want, much like the person who wants a streamlined body has to go through heavy training to acquire the body, of the picture on the fridge! Nothing comes easily. Not a perfect body, perfect marriage, successful business or happiness. We work at it.

One thing I have always done and I am so glad I did was to read and re read positive quotes. We are what we think we are, so storing quotes and scriptures in my heart has been an essential tool for surviving all the tough things I have been through.

ADVICE: Avoid asking advice from anyone who hasn't been there. Do the work yourself, read what will strengthen your faith, talk to a professional person or share with someone who has survived and is thriving.
Meditate on a Life of Abundance and DON'T think you don't deserve it.